Sometimes seniors purposely withhold information from their loved ones and it can be costly to their health, finances and overall well-being. Being able to detect when your loved ones are holding out on you can be tricky. Learn what clues to watch for and the types of secrets they may be hiding.
Pain
Downplaying pain symptoms is one of the most popular secrets seniors tend to hide from their loved ones and caregivers. This may be done to prevent you from worrying or helicoptering over them. It may also be to curtail more doctor’s appointments or to keep from taking additional unwanted medicines. Try asking the senior to tell you on a scale of 1-10 the current pain level. As you do this often enough, you will begin to notice trends. Some of the trends may cycle by time of day, based on the previous night’s sleep or based on their diet.
Falls
Similar to above, a senior may be embarrassed by a fall and attempt to keep it a secret. He or she may go as far as to cover up bruises and other injuries. The intention behind these secrets may be to prevent being forced into a wheelchair or made to use a walker. Ask outright occasionally if a fall has occurred. If no major injuries resulted, try not to overreact so the person feels more comfortable discussing falls in the future.
Driving Issues
Many seniors fail to disclose minor auto accidents, dents on the vehicle, traffic citations and other issues related to driving out of a fear of losing their independence and ability to drive. Keep a close eye on driving behavior and diminished ability as it can lead to danger for your loved one as well as others. Keep up-to-date vision appointments and make sure the senior wears prescription glasses properly.
Money
Disclosing financial matters to adult children varies by family. Some parents believe money is not something to be discussed while others are more open. As caregivers, you need to know some of the basics to ensure they continue to live within their means. This will also impact long-term care planning. Watch out for signs of frivolous spending, especially if it indicates a change in pattern or personality.
Medication Misuse
A senior may not be forthcoming about his or her ability to correctly manage medications. For those who have several medications, it can be very complicated to remember what medicine to take when and how much to take. Mismanaging medication can be extremely dangerous. Drug on drug interactions can occur as well as physical ailments stemming from not taking enough or taking too much. Get a pill box and help your loved one organize the medication needed for each day. Check the box frequently to make sure it is being done correctly.
If you suspect your senior loved one is not providing you with all the information you think you need to best provide care, try to calmly discuss the issue. Do not make accusations or sound judgmental, but show your concern. Explain why you need to know this information. Also take note that sometimes these types of “secrets” indicate cognitive decline and the inability to make proper decisions. In this case, intervene immediately and enlist the assistance of an estate planning attorney to help you make sure your aging loved ones are protected financially and legally. Contact the experienced attorneys at Stouffer Legal in the Greater Baltimore area. You can schedule an appointment by calling us at (443) 470-3599 or emailing us at office@stoufferlegal.com.
